i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
