As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize