We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
