What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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