Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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