just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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