I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I supernannyed him into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize