i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
