btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
