we have officially lost it.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
