at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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