Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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