you guys were way drunker than both of me
Screwed.edu
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
