You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
