and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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