Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
love makes seman taste better
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
