I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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