I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize