I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize