I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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