Pappa wants mamma naked
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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