I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
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I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
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All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.