Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
