You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.