Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.