True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We need to get me chipped asap
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.