somebody snuck up and got me drunk
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
