Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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