somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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