we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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