The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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