Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
