I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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