if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
