But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
