I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
