I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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