You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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