Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
