how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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