I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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