this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
