So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
