One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
