Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
be right there i have to get my cape
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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