WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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