Having a random hookup so left but love u
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
