i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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