I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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