Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
