No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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