She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
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He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
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NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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