Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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