ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
