I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
