He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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