He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
